Sans Monday Blues, but not for long...

It sure is a different feeling waking up relatively late on a Monday morning.

Knowing that you have the luxury of a leisurely breakfast, with the newspapers and the TV showing those morning magazine programmes for company, amidst the calm morning and the fresh air that never fails to invigorate you.

But also knowing that in less than 10 hours, you will be faced with the same type of depression that will bug you every Monday morning, or even every morning, as you trudge unwillingly out of the comfort of your own bed, out into the day ahead.

Back into the race again.

The race to meet deadlines, to live up to expectations that not only others might have imposed on you, but also those that you, through one way or another, impose on yourself.

All these for what?

Meanwhile, I should perhaps just try to enjoy my day, out of this race, before throwing myself, without any choice, into it again.

Work has been coming in lately and I am kind of overwhelmed in a sense.

Overwhelmed not because of the work per se but due to the acute, and painful awareness of my inadequacy in certain areas.

You are still new to the job.

You are still relatively inexperienced.

It takes time.

Those are the thoughts that I have been trying to convince myself with, since sometime ago, in the hope of making myself feel better.

But the fact is, I am not.

Maybe I am just feeling a little disillusioned with my job right now.

I know it's not right for me to feel that way, given the fact that I am into this officially for about 5 months or so.

But thoughts like these creep into my head constantly, day in and day out, like some irritating migraine that just would not go away.

And like how a migraine is, it bugs me not just when I am at work, but during the weekends too when I am spending time with her or with my family.

Time is really the factor here, huh? I ask myself constantly.

Maybe it's time I really sat down and reflected on what I am really looking for in my job. Of what I hope to achieve and how I hope to go about doing that.

Maybe only through that will those negative thoughts and feelings of disillusion really go away.

For good.