Amidst the feelings of frustration and insecurities plaguing me at work, there's definitely other areas that offer me respite and solace to keep me sane and in check.

Of time spent together just chilling out in front of the TV, running, roller-blading or just talking.

Maybe it is the pressure that I place on myself, of wanting to perform that caused these feelings to arise.

It's sometimes difficult to just take things step by step and work on something bit by bit when you are, to put it in a way for lack of suitable words to use, obsessed with trying to tackle many things at a shot and aiming to achieve a whole lot of matters of large proportions in the shortest amount of time ever possible.

I have come to realise that it is not really possible for a person like myself.

Perhaps I am not competent enough or I just haven't really given off my best shot as of yet.

I am still trying to grapple with the issues that arise at work despite being on the job officially for close to eight months. I know things will not get easier with the coming days but I am slowing trying to make myself relish this challenge, the challenge that I place upon myself of making something good out of the seemingly pessismistic view that I have at the moment.

Then again, it might not be a challenge after all.

It could just be something that will come hopefully one day, but not without me learning things the hard and cruel way.